So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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