saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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