it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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