He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Randomize
