Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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