we're blogging at a bar
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
