I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
