Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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