just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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