I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
