so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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