the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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