I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
