I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
