shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
handjob tips. give me some.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
