Well douche your snatch and let's go!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
