Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
