physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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