he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
