butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
