C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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