how can u be prego again
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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