you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
