Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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