did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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