i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
