If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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