haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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