she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
