Dual....:-)
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
