i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
