this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
