After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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