well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
NoShamevember. You game?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
