having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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