playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
