It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we're so committed to being not committed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
