ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
