No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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