i think my mom watched the whole time
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
