I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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