What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
