i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My bed smells like the plague
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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