that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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