The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
