If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
