lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
