You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just puked most of my soul out..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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