I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
where are you?
Hypothermia
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
