Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
