you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
