I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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