did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
