I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
