Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
